He once was…

The day that marks the catastrophic end to your life approaches, and it’s as if I sit awake waiting on a nightmare.
I go the year stifling my emotions that encapsulate the memory of you, only for it to inevitably come to a head; rushing my whole being, cutting me to the core.
The feelings have already become unbearable, coming in waves, crashing me against the shore of reality.
The lump in my throat has become harder and harder to swallow.
I am weak, distracting myself from the imminent release of pent up emotions.
I feel exhausted, knowing I can only run for so long.
I must find the courage to admit to still feeling broken over losing you.
Unfortunately that only occurs when I hit rock bottom, desperately grabbing at somebody to help me release the pain.
I try to quiet my mind as I sit in solitude and watch the rain fall from the skies of wonder, cascading into the depths of the unknown.
My eyes become heavy and I find myself staring into the vast darkness of my mind.
I feel an overwhelming sensation as the memory of you takes hold, suffocating me into submission.
There is nowhere to hide as my thoughts become all consuming and my body surrenders to you; I begrudgingly allow the images to surface.
My head spins with stories of what once was and all that could have been.
You take over my being and my cheeks become drenched with tears of utter defeat.
I cry for what could have been, a life with you.
We would have adventured as one, exploring all that the universe held in front of us, leaving all else behind, just you and me.
My mind finally gives way to the sadness and I am startled awake.
I open my eyes to the beauty that lays before me and I gaze upon the rain as it pelts a delicate flower that refuses to wilt; a new perceptive is had.
My reality is no longer meek; clarity is found in breaking, knowing it has opened a beauty from within.
I begin to imagine your hand within mine, a feeling of warmth overtakes my body as your love engulfs me.
I sit in silence allowing all else to melt away.
The stories begin to spin a different web, a tale of courage, love and truth; the core of all that you mean to me.
I come back to what I had with you, an appreciation for all that you were, with me.
You will forever be in my heart, as only mine; a person who gave me great lessons in this life.
I hold you in my days on earth with comfort, knowing that we will cross paths in another life.
My love, my brother; forever as one, at peace.

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Let go. Let be. Love!

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