A night with Magic Pussy

Letting Loose
What does this look like?

MP-What are you doing?
Me-About to get ready for a date
MP-Nice enjoy. Don’t have sex with him
Me-Fuck that I’ll do what I want. How did it go with digits?
MP-He’s sick too and we didn’t kiss
Me-Oh good for you. Self control, it’s a good thing. Remember wife material. I’m not going for that with this date
MP-LOL have fun
Give it an hour?!
MP-So I miss your face. I was hoping we could have had a hang out tonight
Me-Well bra bailed LOL. So get your ass up here with chips
MP-LOL you come here!!!
Me-Damn you. I’m naked about to eat. Pffft whatevs. I’ll go grab BK then head over LOL. This bitch needs a burger in her life. And your ass better not get me sick or I’ll rage. Be there soon bitch.

One arrives with BK in hand and the laughs are heard down the halls. This bitch is my #1 and there is no doubt that our hang outs are always full of entertainment. We sit down and immediately go into our dating life or shall I say lack of dating abilities. I tell her about this guy I went on a second date with who probably thinks I’m a frigid bitch. We were hot and heavy but I had to interrupt him to let him know my downstairs was off limits, putting it in the simplest of forms, sure not to ruin the mood, basically saying I was a woman. Pretty sure it’s a buzz kill to put it any other way; menstruating, bleeding to death, shark week.

Then MP decides to share her list of fuck boys with me, telling me how she’s getting into duplicate names now. She immediately has me laughing at Saskatoon guy, of course she doesn’t know his name. Then Herashio flies out of her mouth and it only makes sense I just took a huge bite of my burger at the same time. Here I am busting a gut, tears streaming from my eyes, all the while trying not to spit food everywhere or choke to death. Right MP, you insisting I stop because you’re about to pee your pants isn’t helping the cause. Hey dude, you’re the one who fucked Herashio, not me. I tell her how I have a couple guys on my list that don’t even count. The ones when you were a teenager with a guy who tried to shove his half limp dick into your pussy. Hmmm, buddy put that noodle away already, it ain’t working, stop embarrassing us both.

We make our way out to her patio for a smoke and continue our entertainment for all of her neighbours to hear. I share my ridiculous recent fuck ups with the guy I had been messing around with. I sure know how to scare the men away with my lack of tact and brutal honesty. MP usually calls me an asshole or cunt at least a few times in the span of our chats. Yes I can be crass and emotionless, is that a surprise to anybody I know, likely not. It’s not that I do it to be malicious. I run with the attitude of, I could give two fucks what other people think of me, which clearly gets me into trouble. I can be selfish at times and throw caution to the wind, letting my thoughts slip, not realizing the consequences. I say it the way I see it (not always the way it is) and this in turn unexpectedly throws people off. With that said I am always the first to stake claim to my shitty behaviour and make amends when needed.

Anyways we go back inside to watch Bridesmaids and have a good laugh at the fact that I’m the Kristen Wiigs character to a T, weird and awkward as fuck. MP parks herself next to me and glues herself to her phone. Whatchadoin bitch? On Bumble hey. Fine then Tinder it is for this bitch. It doesn’t take long before we are keeled over in laughter. First it’s dude with a DEEP V-neck shirt, gross. Then I find Amy, my transgender match. Oh Amy your bulge is so big but your hairy boobs just don’t do it for me. MP finds buddy posing like a chick, naked on his bed with his feet frolicking around. Yes his feet are frolicking in a picture or that’s how I’m seeing it and I can’t stop laughing as I beg for her to screen shot it and send it to me. Here I thought dudes didn’t have options for pictures and this guy has proved me wrong. Not only is his body positioning on point but his raised eyebrows and kissy lips are top notch. This guy’s a keeper. Fuck me I can’t stop laughing.

I must part ways from MP so I can end my night at home writing, drinking, smoking and eating a chocolate bar. This bitch knows how to treat herself when she’s sans little. My departure from MP is warm and fuzzy as we hug and she caresses my back telling me how soft my sweater is. You’d think this bitch was lonely enough to put the moves on me and get me in the sack. Too bad it’s shark week, haha! NO MP, nobody thinks you’re a lesbian, that’s me remember!

 

Published by

toplessinathongjournal

Let go. Let be. Love!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s